Both are equally important, knowing when to say no, and when to say yes.
It’s something that I haven’t been very good in my adult life. Now I’m realising the absolute power of simply saying no.
It’s not in a bad way, it’s not because I’m being nasty, it’s simply because I only want to do things that make me feel good and take me towards my goals.
Making the distinction
Don’t get me wrong, I have to do things, just like we all do, for work, family or other commitments.
But when it’s not something like that, I’ve finally realised that I have complete control over what I can do, what I want to do and how I choose to spend my time.
I talk about it with my therapist from BetterHelp and the term “living intentionally” came to mind. And that’s now how I focus and make my decisions.
The old me would say yes to a lot of things. I’d go with the flow. I’d think it was because I was easy going, but in fact, I didn’t know how to say no.
So I’d go with the flow, happy enough, but knowing deep down that I would have preferred to do something else.
Drinking is another great example. Occasionally now I’ll have a drink, a glass of wine with a meal, or a Gin and Tonic before dinner. Those that have known me for years will often try to serve me more alcohol, and I simply say no. I like having a different relationship with alcohol. One that is intentional and not simply drinking because that what I, or anyone else around me, does.
Knowing when to say no
I have a clear mission, goals and plans that I want to achieve. Once you figure out what you desire, it’s easier to make decisions. I know when an action takes me towards or away from those goals.
So now it’s easier than ever. Knowing when to say no is simply when it doesn’t fit with the intentional lifestyle I’m living. When it doesn’t help me work towards my goals.
What about you? Do you often say yes because it’s easier than thinking about why you should, in fact, be saying no? Let me know below.